If you’ve noticed.

Something strange going on it’s because the powers that be at Blogger are forcing people to upgrade to the new blogger and create Google accounts whether they want to or not. My problem is figuring how I can pull all my archives and find another platform to host the blog because I find this absolutely intrusive.

Update - after writing several frantic emails, not an easy thing to do when you keep automatically being redirected to another page which isn’t one where you can email anyone for help, the problem seems to have corrected itself. I can only hope it will not repeat itself.

I never thought I would say this.


But, given everything that has happened over the last few weeks, I have to say I feel truly sorry for Anna Nicole Smith. If it wasn’t enough her son died just shortly after she gave birth to her daughter and how that tragedy colored what would have otherwise been a very happy moment in her life, the circus surrounding her burial now can only be described as one of the most ghoulish spectacles in recent memory. Mind you, watching her E! show was like watching a train wreck but even so, she wasn’t so bad she deserved this - people fighting over her body and her baby. It’s just a sad, twisted, spectacle to watch and if anything it only makes her more of a tragic figure than she was in life.

Things I like.

I like watching the cat clean herself (except of course for the big spread) and then afterward violently shaking her head to the point she goes sliding across the floor. I like watching her crawl out from underneath the covers still so sleepy she manages to drunkenly stumble in her first few steps as she wakes up.

Appropriate for Valentine’s Day?

Just a great video from Jim Florentine’s site which is hilarious to watch it seemed somehow appropriate for Valentine’s Day:

Could this be titled, “The Nose knows?”

More humor from the Onion:

Alabama Environmentalists Lobbies For Solar-Power Electric Chair.

The angry blogger.

Blogging is fun and all that but, I mainly feel that it’s a means to an end. Specifically, the reason I’ve been doing it is to get in the habit of writing regularly and to prepare myself for writing longer pieces of both fiction and non-fiction. It’s like a lot of things I do in that it may not pay of immediate dividends but, there is a goal at some unseen point somewhere down the road which will be reached because of the efforts put into an area.

I can’t really say that my blog has a distinct focus though, mainly I use it for whatever has caught my attention at a given moment and then use it as a place to try to write about my thoughts on a particular topic.

Thing is, I’ve noticed blogs generally fall into a couple of basic categories:

There’s the self promotional blog which is focuses mainly on promoting the writer(s) of the blog, it’s a way of getting their message out to the world and most of the entries are specifically designed to promote their latest endeavor.

Then, there’s the gripe blog - here a blog is used as an outlet for all the indignities and slights the blogger is subjected to as they make their way through the world. Sometimes these kinds of blogs can go into excruciating detail about personal matters (sometimes to the peril of the author), other times it can just be a matter of griping about a specific area of interest (lots of political blogs are devoted to these efforts). They are usually short on answers but, long on the gripe.

There are also blogs which are devoted to driving traffic to other sites and generating revenue (a lot of porn blogs set up this way - oops that’s right none of us looks at porn, it just those other people.)

I’m sure there are a couple of other categories but, I think you get the drift. I don’t think my blog readily falls into any of these divisions easily but, I wouldn’t think I would be the best judge either.

One thing though that blogs are generally short on, is generating a good laugh for their readers and I think that‘s not a good thing. So, with that in mind, the next few posts are focused on doing just that (making you laugh) enjoy.

First up, if you ever find yourself in a foul mood - may I suggest a brief electronic sojourn over to The Onion website where you can find gems like the one below:

Office Janitor Asks To Work From Home

Got to love this.

Listening to some music this morning and got me wanting to look at this again, always enjoyable and a spectacular example of what a music video can be:

How sad.

Just saw this on a crawl and the first thought I had was how very sad.

She had been unresponsive and was rushed to the hospital Thursday while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino, hotel officials said.

First there is the whole business surrounding the death of her son against the backdrop of the birth of her daughter - then the bizarre marriage between her and the skeevy lawyer. Just really, really sad and tragic.

Was it really that long ago?!?



I came across this shot today - I don’t think I’ve ever lost my distaste for ‘dressing up’ and I can remember how uncomfortable I felt in this suit.

Laurie, who I saw as recently as two weeks back looks as lovely as ever. She now has a son who is slightly older than I was when this picture was taken which is somewhat amazing. Even more amazing is that we still are in touch after all these years.

If you had asked me when the picture was taken if I could have even imagined the path our lives have taken us, I couldn’t have even begun to guess and I have to admit to being fascinated by the route we have both followed.

Making baseball truly an international sport.

“We should not only regard it as a strange game, but who knows,” Morde said. “It could sooner than later become a hard currency earning opportunity for us.”

Interesting story about a recent goodwill trip.

Pretty pictures.


Something just put up on the Flickr stream with a whole bunch of other new shots.

Surprised?

I don’t think so.


“A prerequisite for winning the Nobel Peace Prize is making a difference, and Al Gore has made a difference,” Conservative Member of Parliament Boerge Brende, a former minister of environment and then of trade, told The Associated Press.

Not a lot to say.

Generally, I’m in a position of not having a lot to say these days. Between that and the fact the blog doesn’t generate much in the way of traffic (do people read this thing?), I have been focusing my efforts elsewhere of late. Also, there’s the greater fallout from having to deal with the events of earlier this month which seem very far away even though less than a month has passed.

I’ve got a bunch of things cooking - good things, positive things, which I am happy about and I find myself trying to regain my momentum. I don’t do well when the cold weather comes around, I just don’t like it that much, never have really. Now, I find myself trying to keep moving forward even though I realize there have been some big things happening.

I have feelers out and have done preliminary work into exploring a new direction in terms of what it is I do but, until things come to fruition, better off not talking about it. Also, I spend a lot of time each and every day culling. There is a zen like place I want to arrive at, a place that is free from clutter. Sounds simple but, I don’t know if it is a consequence of age or not, it seems the older I get the more clutter amasses or the more attention needs to be given to keep it from amassing.

I spoke to an old friend the other day. This friend has a storage space where he keeps his prized collection of books. He doesn’t read them, but they’re there in case he wants to.

Think about that statement for a moment.

These are things which he pays to keep stored away, things he has access to, but instead of truly enjoying them they have become a burden to him. He pays for the comfort and security having these things brings him. He’s not the only person I know who lives life like that. There are a lot of people in and around cities who just don’t feel they have enough space and keep things in storage.

I’m like that too in a way. Thing is, I think the impulse arises out of being in a situation where I had very little and where I struggled enormously with just managing to get by in life. I’ve heard stories of people who lived through the depression and consequently were always fearful of losing everything. Because of this, they saved everything whether or not they truly had a use for it or needed it. Their fear ruled them.

I don’t want to live my life ruled by fear.

There are two ways to deal with clutter, one way is the wholesale toss. I’m not a big fan of the wholesale toss because there are some things which are treasures and which you should manage to hold onto. So, lately what I’ve been spending a lot of time doing is sorting through the clutter, getting my house in order so to speak and clearing the decks. I’m not there yet, it’s a big job but, it took around 20 years to amass all this crap, I figure if it take a year or two to get rid of it all, it’s worth it if it means living the next 20 years clutter free and without the lurking fear in the back of my mind.

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!



If you look closely at the spinner rack in front of this store on Mulberry Street you will see a preponderance of Hollywood’s take on Italians. Hollywood has done a fairly good job of glorifying a ridiculously small segment of the population and consequently coloring many people’s view of Italians as a group.

What do I mean?

According to the United States census numbers, Italians are the 6th largest ethnic group in the US, clocking in with 15,638,348 Americans of Italian descent and according to the FBI website: The FBI estimates the size of the four IOC groups to be approximately 25,000 members and 250,000 affiliates worldwide. There are more than 3,000 members and affiliates in the United States.

3,000 as a percentage of 15,638,348 works out to .019%.

Yet strangely enough according to the Wikipedia entry on Italian Americans: To this day, Italian Americans are frequently associated with organized crime in the minds of most Americans, largely due to pervasive media stereotyping and a number of popular gangster movies (such as The Godfather and Goodfellas). A Zogby International survey revealed that 78 percent of teenagers 13 to 18 associated Italian Americans with either criminal activity or blue-collar work. A survey by the Response Analysis Corp. reported that 74 percent of adult Americans believe most Italian Americans have “some connection” to organized crime.[2]

Thanks Hollywood and thanks to idiots like the owner of this store who continue in perpetuating a myth.

FCB on a Saturday morning.'

A few weeks back, this was Anna pre haircut while we were experiencing mild, mild weather. Now, having just gotten past the coldest day in two years I have to wonder if I am not the subject of some Kitty Kursing.

I know.

Yankees sending delegation to China.

Understand as I was reading this today, I couldn’t help but think there is a grossly politically incorrect, terribly funny joke in here - any help that can be provided would be appreciated.

The Amish couple and the saddle.

I got a call from my good friend Sarah last night (not to be confused with Madame X) who relayed an interesting tale of a meandering drive through snow covered hills which took her, her son and her mother into a world which has existed right on their doorstep but which they never stepped into. It was a reminder in some ways of the magical wonder which is all around us if we but open ourselves up to the possibilities the world presents us with.

While it was a fascinating journey for each of the participants, it can perhaps be best summed up by the observations of a disaffected five year old who, when asked if he had noticed anything different about the people who had been given a ride (the Amish couple), observed that the man wore a hat.

Strategies for the new millennium.

Just was reading this column in New York Magazine by Kurt Andersen which I thought I would share, click through to read it in its entirety. Makes a couple very salient points which hopefully the right people will pick up on:

The Great Society programs of the mid-sixties—Food Stamps, Head Start, Medicaid, Medicare—were the final flowering of a social-welfare era that began with FDR’s New Deal 30 years earlier. The countervailing rightward pendulum swing—deregulation and tax cuts under Reagan, welfare reform under Clinton, still more tax cuts under Bush—has dominated our political economy for nearly the past 30 years.

In other words, the time seems to be ripening for a transformative surge of new passion and policy and political traction around the idea of economic fairness. Blaming illegal Mexican immigrants and dollar-an-hour Chinese workers for our troubles is an easy way to vent, but Lou Dobbs’s other regular targets are pretty much on the mark: corporate greedheads and their craven enablers in the political class.

For more than a generation, the Republicans have pitched themselves as the good-old-days party, appealing to the nostalgic hunger for the wholesome, coherent society and culture of mid-century, before life went crazy around 1968. What the Democrats can do now is the same thing, only different—that is, appeal to the nostalgic hunger for the sense of basic economic security and fairness that prevailed before life went crazy around 1986.

Why do I feel there is a certain irony in this?

Today, which is the anniversary of the Roe V. Wade decision, the President made the following comments:

President Bush marked the 34th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision Monday, telling thousands of abortion foes he shares their goal of seeing “the day when every child is welcomed in life and protected into law.” Bush also signaled his unchanged opposition to a key goal of the Democrats who now control Congress: broadening embryonic stem-cell research.

Contrasted against this:

This is an ongoing human security project which maintains and updates the world’s only independent and comprehensive public database of media-reported civilian deaths in Iraq that have resulted from the 2003 military intervention by the USA and its allies. The count includes civilian deaths caused by coalition military action and by military or paramilitary responses to the coalition presence (e.g. insurgent and terrorist attacks). It also includes excess civilian deaths caused by criminal action resulting from the breakdown in law and order which followed the coalition invasion.

Admittedly these are both issues I have mixed feelings about but, why do I get the sense, somewhere, someone is having a good laugh at our expense?

Food, glorious food!

I am driven by my stomach, what can I say. There are few things in life which can exceed the satisfaction and delight of a good meal. To that end I am always on the lookout for new places with which to test my dining chops and to expand my repertoire of dining locales. Perhaps the only advantage I really take out of living around such a large city is exploring and discovering new dining treasures.

To that end a few things caught my eye this week which I thought I would share.

First off, I can’t say why, maybe I saw something on the Food Network or the History Channel about automats but it got me to thinking about them and doing a bit of idle surfing on the topic. I remember the old Automat which was on 42nd and 3rd (now a GAP I think) but, I can’t really say it was a place I frequented with any regularity. I do remember a Horn and Hardart restaurant that was located in the Cross County Shopping Center in Yonkers. I remember it in that I can definitely recall eating there as a kid but, again it left little impact on me as far as the actual food itself went.

Well, it appears there’s a new automat which opened a few months back and I want to check out (of course if anyone has checked it out I’d be curious as to their thoughts on the place)

Conceived by Robert Kwak, David Leong, and a designer known as “Nobu,” Bamn will serve finger foods, like grilled cheese and pizza dumplings, with an occasional Asian kick. It’s the first restaurant venture by Mr. Kwak, an entrepreneur who launched the first Asian basketball league in Manhattan. Items will cost between $1.50 and $2.50, and diners should either bring quarters or silver dollars or use the store's change machine to get them.

Second, for the next two weeks New Yorkers are fortunate to experience Restaurant Week (why it’s called Week when it is two weeks escapes me but, there you have it). What’s great about restaurant week is that you have the opportunity to try a lot of great restaurants that would otherwise be out of the range of the pocketbook. Granted, you have to stick to a predesignated menu but, you do get the chance to really appreciate some of the fine restaurants in the city.

I’ve taken advantage of Restaurant Week over the summer and all I can say was that it wound up being a half good (Lupa)/half bad (Mesa Grill) experience. If you haven’t heard of or checked out a restaurant during Restaurant Week, well it is well worth it and you are sure to find something to your taste!

Where it went wrong.

Everytime I think about where Harrison Ford went wrong in his career, I look back at Air Force One. There was something almost cartoony about that movie. Besides the laughability of the premise of President as action hero, it was around this time Harrison was getting a little long in the tooth for roles like these.

I keep thinking of Clint Eastwood and how he managed to make a great career for himself even as he aged. Even Burt Reynolds has done a few great turns through the years by choosing to step away from the kind of roles which he was best known for (take a look at Burt’s guesting on the X-Files or his turn in Boogie Nights).

Even Bruce Willis has done a somewhat interesting job of taking his career and deciding to be more of a character actor than a leading man a lot of the time, even when he does take on the role of action hero, it’s less over the top than what he used to do - contrast any of the Die Hard movies with Unbreakable.

I know there has been talk about another Indiana Jones movie but, if Harrison Ford is running around in that like he was in the others... well, let’s just say it might not come across the way the filmmakers are intending. Thing is, George Lucas always said there were supposed to be nine Star Wars movies, the first three being the middle three, the last batch being the first three and then there was supposed to be a trilogy that took place after Return of the Jedi. I kinda wouldn’t mind seeing those same actors (Hammill, Fisher and Ford) reprising those roles as older people in another trilogy.

Remind me.

If you live locally (the greater NYC area), tomorrow when you are running around in your short shorts and t-shirt, remind me how we’re experiencing Global Warming. That it took until the middle of January for the temperature to get this low is to me a blessing. Anyone who has to heat a home will tell you the same. The first significant snow (one that sticked) arrived last night, if that is all the snow we get this year, nothing would make me happier. Hopefully, since it’s already the 19th of January, it will be a brief time we have to spend bundled up against the elements.

Really interesting article,

which I came across by way of the Monster blog. Definitely worth a read and something which resonated within me given my recent post.

From the Harvard School of Business.

The Trap of Overwhelming Demands

Fortunately, most managers can overcome their habitual fire fighting. To do so, however, they must first clear the most difficult hurdle: the belief that they are indispensable. Managers who complain about having too little time often thrive on the sense of importance that their busyness generates. They enjoy being at the center of frantic activity where people continually ask them for help, information, or advice. If they were honest, then they would really not want more time—especially time to reflect!

Has this happened to anyone else?

In the midst of everything that was going on last week I noticed something going on with my phone (and I noticed this the first day all the craziness began). Basically, even though the thing was hooked up and had been charged, it was dying out fairly fast and no longer seemed to be getting decent reception. I’ve had the stupid thing for something like two years now but, as with all my technology purchases, I tend to squeeze every last bit of usefulness out of the life of any gadget I buy. Whether it’s phones, computers, TVs, etc. - I long ago stopped being seduced by the allure of the latest and the greatest. When I do finally plunk down some samolians to get something though, I am genuinely pleased because it entails a big leap forward (LOL).

So, the phone, over the last few days has been acting strangely. No reception, no ringing, thing runs out of juice much faster than I can remember it ever doing and I’m thinking it’s time to get a new battery. Anyone else have this kind of thing happening? This of course is presupposing people hold onto a phone long enough for the battery to go bad (which seems like a rarity these days).

Only.

29 days until pitchers and catchers report, I can’t wait. Up until today it wasn’t even really that cold. Hooray!

The gap.

There is a gap in my life between the person I am and the person I would like to be. Most of my days are spent trying to figure out ways to bridge that gap. I haven’t been able to make the leap yet but, I keep trying.

Today, I got a nasty email. Well, maybe I should qualify that statement. I got an email that was derisive and chiding in tone. Under the circumstances of the last week I have to admit my patience with such things is fairly thin. My first impulse was to respond in kind, a lot of that has to do with feeling rubbed raw over the last few days but, I caught myself.

In the past I wouldn’t have done that, I would have just acted on first impulse and written something nasty back. In this instance, it was a signal. The signal was that the time had come to end an association which had long ago outlived any usefulness. Nowadays, there is a very strange dynamic which seems to occur in the workplace - I think of it as battered employee syndrome. Battered employee syndrome is the lose/lose scenario where no matter what an employee (contractor, vendor) does, they’re wrong. I find it is emblematic of poor management.

You know the whole employer/employee relationship is a bit of a contract - people are hired to come in and perform certain functions - this would be known as ‘the job description.’ Hence when an employee is hired for a particular position, there are certain parameters of experience and expertise which must be met if the employee is to fill the position and perform their duties in a competent and timely manner.

One of the hallmarks of a dysfunctional company is when a manager asks a subordinate to write their own job description. Whenever I have heard of this happening the first thing I usually advise the person to do is to look for another job. Think of it this way, ‘We hired you, we pay you but, we really don’t know what it is you do.’ That’s comforting, wouldn’t you say?

Well, I digress. In this instance the ‘entity’ in question has repeatedly demonstrated absolutely no loyalty to their employees through the years. The same problems crop up in a place year after year and while the focus continues to be in one specific area the cause, and source of the problem never gets addressed. So, we wind up in battered employee syndrome.

It’s like a game of what have you done for me lately? So, if the only thing you can get out of a place is money, no career advancement, no job satisfaction, no reward or recognition for good work, does it make sense to stay in a place? If the only good thing you can say about your job is that it is bearable, isn’t it incumbent on you to seek out ways to make the situation better and failing that seek out a better situation?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s called work for a reason, in the memorable words of Red Forman: If it wasn’t “work,” they wouldn’t call it work. They’d call it “super-wonderful, crazy-fun time!” Or “Skippedydoo!” So, in regard to this one particular place, we’re not talking the land of Skippedydoo but, if the door doesn’t swing both ways, well what’s left?

Then, as more time passes I lose the ability to even be annoyed about it - life is too short for such stupidity.

Well, that wasn’t fun.

So, the funeral was Saturday and as fate would have it, it wasn’t all too cold and the rain had let up by the time we got to the cemetery so the service itself wasn’t a totally drenching one. People showed up to the wake which was nice of them and they showed up for the funeral which was nicer still. You would think after the last 15 months, I would be ready for this but, I guess we’re never ready for the moment when death arrives in our lives.

It will take me awhile to truly believe it, to accept it and absorb it. Everything about the prospect of Pop not being around just seems so unreal and final.

Over the last four days, I have found myself constantly tired. This is mainly the result of sleeping at night in a way where I lie down for a bit, wake up two hours later, am up for a few hours and then fall asleep for another few hours again.

I am never good at these things. I admit it. Honestly, I just don’t know how to deal with death or people who are mourning. A big part of that is because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and without saying something meaningful to someone, something which will truly provide them with comfort, I feel whatever I do say will wind up sounding hollow or phony. My biggest concern over the last few days was choreographing a ceremony and process which would be both dignified and respectful. That it was so important sounds like an odd thing but, having taken care of the man for as long as I did, it was very important to me not to screw it up at the end.

And I was soooo tired. To tell the truth after going to the hospital and seeing him there after he died the first night, there is nothing more I wanted to do than to crawl into bed and just sleep for days, really. I just wanted to wind up in bed and then wake up on a nice warm and sunny day where I could get out and just enjoy the weather and the warmth of the sun on my skin.

Still, it wasn’t to be and there was lots to do over the next 72 hours - phone-calls had to be made, arrangements had to be finalized, there was a question of being dressed properly for the occasion and then there was the matter of being front and center in everything.

I never did write an obituary as I had intended. I just let the funeral home take care of that because after everything else I found it hard to organize my thoughts to put something on paper which I felt was appropriate. I wrote something of a eulogy but, I wound up missing the correct moment to read it and consequently fumbled through some words at the graveside which in retrospect I am not even sure whether or not I was coherent. As it was I kept things short, fighting my own nerves and trying to contain my own desire to wail away. I can’t even remember what I said as it seemed the world was spinning standing there beside an open grave on muddy earth with all these faces pointed at me.

Ouch.

The funeral mass was much nicer than I anticipated it would be, the church was beautiful and the thoughts delivered by the father in attendance would have been hard to follow anyway because it was a fitting and thoughtful sermon. I also think I ate the mother of all communion wafers - the thing the jumbo size communion wafer and considering how long it had been since I had gone for any kind of communion I wonder if the priest didn’t know something I didn’t - I mean seriously it was like a horse pill or something. My cousin’s youngest rode with me in the car which actually was really nice just to have her company.

So, this is what I wrote and what I imagine I would have said if I had gotten the chance. As it was, the father in question would have been a very hard act to follow and while I was sitting in that first pew all kinds of thoughts were running through my head...

“How about the father there? Let’s have a big hand for him!”

No, I don’t think that would’ve worked. Like I said I fumbled through at least part of this at the graveside, it was a lot shorter because I just winged it and at that point I was thinking funerals are very much like awards shows in that they shouldn’t run overly long because you wind up losing the attention of the audience.

Last night, I was trying to think about what I would say to all of you here today. I was hoping to be able to provide something of great insight. However, it was just an overblown ego at work.

They say the only two things which are certain in the world are death and taxes. Today we find ourselves here, confronting just one of those sure things. It is inescapable for all of us. Look around you, no matter what your age, the one thing you can be assured of is one day you WILL die.

Each and every one of us have only a certain number of days on this planet even none of us knows in advance what that number will be. In pop’s case the number turned out to be 30,415 - he didn’t know it and neither did I.

Looking at it now, I am forced to wonder if I had known the exact number of days and we were so very close to the last few, would I have cherished those dwindling days more? And the truth is, I probably would have.

My father lived a full life by the standard with which we measure time, he laughed, he smiled, he had fun but at the end that life - he spoke often of his own unhappiness and regret. He looked back on his life and constantly questioned the decisions he had made.

They haunted him at times and when illness took away some of the awareness of time’s passage, it was a blessing because it freed him of his remorse and in a way took him back to his youth, back to a time when misdeeds and transgressions might be forgotten and he could live in the moment.

Maybe that sounds like a fool’s paradise to some but, if we measure our lives in the context of a finite number of days, we begin to realize how each and every day is such a precious gift. Every day dawns anew, full of promise and hope, challenging us to make of it what we will of it for good or for bad.

Thus, it falls to each of us to make the best possible use of the time we have. The more time we spend looking backwards at our own mistakes instead of leaving them behind us and moving forward to do good just squanders another day.

Pop was a lot of things but, he couldn’t see, never really understood the affect, he had on the world around him - the lives he touched, the good he did, the way he changed the world. I’m not pretending he was perfect but, he did some good while he was here - he touched the lives of the people he came in contact with and that influence spread outward as the people he touched, touched other lives in turn, the way a wave on the surface of a pond spreads outward.

When we come together at funerals, it is to mourn, it is in sadness but why? The truth is, none of us really die, our souls might escape the frail shell that carries them but we live on in others. We live on in the people we touched during our short time here on the planet. I am not saying I won’t miss my father because I will miss him terribly but, in me he will live on. Just as he will live in you whose lives he touched. There are others who have gone before him and who to this day hold a special place in my heart, those people who will never be forgotten.

While I will remember him as a flawed man, he will still in my heart be very much a beloved father and he will be missed. Thank you again for paying your respects here today, it would make him happy to see you all I know.

In any event, I at least think I did a good job with everything and it was the last time I could do anything for him so I wanted to get it right.

Bye, Pop.

My father passed Wednesday evening. The last 24 hours have been hectic if only because there is so much to do and I already started writing something about it. Suffice to say he will be missed. The main thing though is just to get through the today (Friday - the wake) and tomorrow (Saturday - the funeral and burial).

Screwing with the baristas.

I hate tip jars. The f**king things are everywhere these days. Next time I go to the proctologist, I half expect to see a tip jar lying around (and if anyone would deserve it, it’s a guy who spends his day sticking his finger up people’s asses). Somehow, over the last ten years, tip jars just saturated our society.

Now, I don’t know about you but, for me I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to these things. Waiters, waitresses, cab drivers, bell captains, redcaps, maitre-ds are all people who get my tips. If you’re working the counter in a Baskin Robbins, a 7-11, a dry cleaner, etc. well... you’re just s*it out of luck in my book. It’s not up to me to make up for the fact you’re getting paid sh*tty wages. Hell, I worked a ton of sh*tty jobs myself in my time, suck it up.

You don’t tip the checkout person in a supermarket, you don’t tip a receptionist in a doctor’s office, it just isn’t done - throwing a plastic cup out in front of people, dumping your loose change into it and hoping for the best is nice enough but, don’t expect me to feel guilt.

Starbucks, is one of those places where you find the innocuous tip jar. It kind of makes me chuckle in some ways because I’ve read Howard Schultz’s book and seen him on TV speaking about creating a certain atmosphere in his stores. He goes on at length on how Starbucks was trying to copy the whole expresso bar experience he found in Italy but, funny enough I can’t seem to remember there being a single tip jar in any of the many expresso bars I visited in Rome.

Maybe I would be a lot less reluctant to tip if I wasn’t getting socked with a $3 plus charge for a cup of coffee. Chances are though, if all I’m buying is a cup of coffee and it’s costing that much I’m thinking about where I really should be spending money instead of pissing it away so cavalierly. Geez, somewhere there is some retired executive from the Chock Full of Nuts chain who is just banging his head against a wall watching what has been going on with Starbucks over the last decade.

So, part of the whole ‘experience’ in some of these Starbucks is being asked your name by the counter person when you place your order.

Now, maybe it’s me but, I don’t want to build a personal relationship with La Baristas. The coffee bar is not my modern day equivalent of Cheers and I am not f**kin Norm. So, it doesn’t happen often but, every once in awhile you hit one of these places where they do ask you for your name when you order your coffee.

And... I f**k with them.

Look, like I said I don’t want a personal relationship, just give me my damn overpriced coffee to go. I don’t want it to take a half hour - WHICH IT SOMETIMES DOES EVEN WITH THAT CRYPTIC STARBUCK SPEAK!

I’ve been in places where the cash register even prints out your order over by the expresso machine but that still doesn’t speed the process up - so asking me my name while I stand around like an idiot isn’t going to make me any happier. Today’s choice was Agamemnon, sometimes it’s been such jewels as Ulysses or Socrates. I just like giving them a mouthful or a real handful to write. It stops ’em dead in their tracks, like a deer caught in headlights, they don’t know what to do!

Sometimes it’s just fun to see if they can get a name like that out of their own mouths, ‘What was that?’

‘Agamemnon.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, really.’

‘C’mon that’s not really your name!’

‘Okay, Jason.’ (still not my name - thinking about Friday the 13th at this particular moment)

‘Okay. Jason. What was that name again... from before.’

‘Agammmennmmonn,’ I even have trouble getting it out of my mouth.

She chuckles, I chuckle and still shrouded in mystery go to the coffee bar to get my exorbitant drink. When La Barista asks, ‘Jason, do you want room for milk?’ It is all I can do to keep from totally losing it.

As I walk away, coffee in hand, I imagine one of the ladies hovering around the bar for their triple, nonfat, giganto, mocha, icerino with whipped cream saying to her friend, ‘He didn’t look like a Jason.’

And she’d be right.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

If you are in and around Manhattan today you may have noticed it:

Across the Hudson River, Jersey City, N.J., mayor’s spokeswoman Maria Pignataro said officials there were told the odor was due to a gas leak in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood, just north of Greenwich Village.

It’s on all the news channels right now but, watching it the funny thing is watching all the companies and elected officials deny responsibility. Con Edison says they don’t have a leak (pushing the speculation the source is New Jersey) and the Jersey City mayor says her people have informed her the source was in Manhattan.

Numerous people have called 911 to report the odor. Con Edison, the Fire Department and the U.S. Coast Guard are investigating. The Fire Department began getting calls about the odor around 9 a.m., said spokesman Tim Hinchey. PATH service has been suspended into the 33rd Street station, although the service was still running to the World Trade Center Station. F and V subway service has been suspended at 23rd Street.

It’s funny if only because you can imagine the localities as people in a room where someone has farted.

The odor of natural gas was reported across Midtown Manhattan, prompting hundreds of calls to emergency workers. Eyewitness News is told the smell was first reported in the vicinity of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street. Earlier this morning around 9:00 a.m. hundreds of calls poured into city emergency officials. Apparently the calls are coming from Chelsea, Battery Park west, Madison Square Park, and there are also reports of the gas smell outside of our studio on 66th and Columbus. A very similar smell was also reported in Downtown Jersey City.

I just enjoy watching all these newscasters speak endlessly about the awful smell. If you view it in that context (someone farting) it’s really, really funny.

It’s a dirty job but, someone has to do it.

It takes a lot of practice to be a dick. I mean you have to spend veritable years deconstructing your personality to the point where you are so incredibly obnoxious and insensitive to the people around you that you can even be considered worthy of the title.

So, when you run across someone who is a genuine dick, you should show a little reverence for all the effort they’ve have put in to their art.

I’ve tried to tone down my the aspects of dickdom in my own personality through the years but, it still comes through from time to time. Maybe it will surface when I’m driving and there is a particularly oblivious clown in and around me, or maybe it will manifest in some other public setting. Thinking about it now, I realize it’s almost impossible to be a dick when you are by yourself. Can you truly be a dick when there is nobody about to be a dick to?

As a man, being called a dick doesn’t bother me the way it would bother a women when she is characterized by being called an offensive name for her privates. I don’t know too many men who have the violent, almost militant reaction women display when they are called the "c" word. Thinking about it, George Carlin used to go on at length about it - I think he was the one who observed the hard constanant sound of the "c" word is what gets your attention.

The ceeee word - roll that one over for a second if you will. It’s not like we call dick the "d" word.

Anyway, I have been pretty lucky of late because it seems my dick exposure these days has been incredibly low. Of course, I have spent much of the last few weeks enmeshed in a project where I have little time to spare and consequently am not out in public all that often.

New York can sometimes be the “dick” capital of the world. A lot of movies characterize the city that way, The Out of Towners immediately comes to mind but, the truth is really far different from that. Last week a guy threw himself down on the tracks in front of a moving subway train in order to save another persons’ life. Simply amazing.

A lot of people took notice of it and I was impressed as well. Then again, it’s really not a surprise. If you had been in New York in the months after September 11th, you would have seen the character of the people of this city. Even in the days immediately afterward, people where so amazingly polite to each other, so very considerate. It was beautiful. It makes me think of the place the world could be.

But then, my inner dick comes out.

Kal-El couldn’t have done better.


“I’m still saying I’m not a hero ... ’cause I believe all New Yorkers should get into that type of mode,” Wesley Autry said on CBS’ “The Early Show” Thursday. “You should do the right thing.”

Simple, eloquent and an example for us all - not much more to say than that.

Bad pdf! BAD!

You look at pdfs, you should be aware:

The flaw, first revealed at a hacker conference in Germany over the holidays, exists in a plug-in that enables Acrobat users to view PDF files within Web browsers.

By manipulating the Web links to those documents, hackers and online thieves are able to commandeer the Acrobat software and run malicious code when users attempt to open the files, according to Ken Dunham, director of the rapid response team at VeriSign’s iDefense Intelligence.

Denny Colt lives!

The new Spirit series from DC manages to do a great job of keeping Will Eisner’s signature character very much alive while doing it great justice and updating it for today.

And in keeping with one of the nice things about the Internet Age, you can look at a couple of preview pages and judge for yourself whether or not it’s worth checking out!

Find a few pages from The Spirit issue 1 here. and a few more from the current issue The Spirit issue 2 here.

I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Starting ’07 off with a laugh.

I saw this and started chuckling. This is supposed to be a news story but, given what I have heard from friends and from what I read this comes as no surprise:

• 39 percent of workers said their supervisor failed to keep promises.


• 37 percent said their supervisor failed to give credit when due.


• 31 percent said their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" in the past year.


• 27 percent said their supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers.


• 24 percent said their supervisor invaded their privacy.


• 23 percent said their supervisor blamed others to cover up mistakes or to minimize embarrassment.

Celebration of life.

Rather than dwell on the man’s passing, why not listen to why he was so well regarded? NPR offers up this treat available for download:

Just a year before his death, the Godfather of Soul reached into his vast catalog of hit songs for a night of music, recorded live from the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. Hear the full performance, originally webcast live on NPR.org Dec. 28, 2005 as part of NPR Music’s live concert series from All Songs Considered. Previous shows are listed at right.

Clicking through takes you to the page detailing the info on the show and they also have a link so you can download the entire show or just listen via streaming audio.

A New Year’s tradition.

2006 is almost gone. It wasn’t a bad year, certainly not the greatest but, I’ve had significantly worse.

2006 started off rather inauspiciously as New Year’s Eve found me going up to a local hospital to sit with the EYOC who at the time was very, very ill.

I haven’t spoken so much of the EYOC this year. It’s because there really hasn’t been much to say at least in the way of news. The EYOC had a massive heart attack back in September of ’05 and pretty much all of my time over the next four months was devoted to the adventure and fallout resulting from the incident.

I’m not a pity junkie though, there’s just nothing to be gained by looking at the world that way or trying to elicit the pity of others, and it’s not as if anyone should feel bad for me. As tough a time it was for me and it was a lot tougher for the EYOC. Many things happened and truthfully, I found myself pleasantly surprised by some people and horribly disappointed in others. There was a lot of turmoil and chaos but, somehow both the EYOC and I navigated the treacherous waters.

That first day in the hospital, a doctor turned to me at one point and made it fairly clear I shouldn’t expect the EYOC to make it past that night but, even though I was scared (as scared as the EYOC was), I knew what a tough guy he is. Sure enough, he made it past that night and a whole bunch of others. Four months of trips to various facilities and quite a few scares but, he’s still here.

It’s been tough, he’s deteriorated but, given his heart functions only at 20% of capacity, his will to fight against the ravages of time is truly herculean. There have been good days and bad. I don’t think he ever appreciated just how vital and active he was until the last year and that’s assuming he is entirely aware of what he lost. Times are he seems very much like himself and other times he just seems to have taken a bit of a journey into his own past.

As scary as things were though for that four months, the year has been a relatively quiet one. He’s been cared for, looked after and very well-tended and I am thankful for that.

He’s been comfortable.

It’s been a change though, as I spent a lot of time over the last fifteen years taking care of him. It was a job which only grew tougher with the passage of time and suddenly one day I was done. Well, maybe not done but, all the brass tacks kind of daily care which took up a lot (if not all) of my time reduced significantly... it’s been strange.

Strange, if only because for the first time in a long time, I am forced to take stock of my own life and ask myself what I want. Though I am at a certain point in life, I still feel there is an abundance of opportunity out there for me to pursue. The interesting thing is the approach to the decision given my perspective and my experiences which shape the things I would seek out. Suffice to say, they are very different from what I would have set as goals as a younger man.

The moment of reflection though, of relative quiet, is broken. Reality intrudes and I find myself back at the hospital again - another New Year, another hospital stay.

Today when I saw him, he looked frail and withered. He wasn’t in pain (which I am thankful for) but, the toll the last fifteen months have taken on him is evident. Surprisingly he is more comfortable than during previous visits to the hospital. He labors more and seems more drained by the battle he has fought. Another heart attack has taken place and I wonder what the next few days will bring.

The thing I find eerie, the thing which scares me the most is the sense of calm around him, not agony, not pain, just serenity and acceptance.

He is sleeping when I come in but after a minute or so of prodding opens his eyes, recognizes me and smiles. I am good at this, pretending as if for all the world everything is normal and engaging him in banter asking when he is going to play handball again or teasing him just a bit. The conversation takes strange paths down impossible avenues where he talks about wanting to go for a drive and I allow myself to go with the flow.

He dozes off again and after a discussion with the doctor and a bath by the nurses he seems more alert and we resume the conversation once more. But, when he turns to me at one point and pointedly begins a statement with, ‘I don’t have a lot of time left...’ I find it is all I can do to maintain my composure.

While he is at the facility, I am able to feel at peace and not worry about him because I know he is looked after but, at the hospital I think the prospect of something bad happening increases exponentially. I’m not implying anything bad about the personnel at the hospital either because I see how hard their job is. It’s just the exposure to so many more things which can make the situation worse are evident. The slightest infection which a normal person would struggle with but ultimately fight off now becomes a dance with death.

It’s not like I had any big plans but, I have to say of all the places I would rather be on New Year’s Eve, a hospital isn’t one I would ever pick. It’s a lousy way to bookend a year, I can only hope for the best.

The poor taste moment.

Just proving once again there are no depths I will sink to, to achieve the height of bad taste. So, have you read the news? Funny how all I could think of when I heard it was this little ditty by LA Style. (You’ll need RealPlayer)

The dirty secret of Christmas.

Well, it’s been and gone another Christmas in the books. I had an entry a day or so back that just managed to float off into random bits as Safari went down with the entry unfinished and unsaved in a background tab. Maybe I’ll get back to it (probably not) if I can remember most of what I was trying to say.

Tonight as the family sat around the tree in the orgiastic frenzy of tearing open gifts, my cousin’s daughter spoke those nasty and sacrilegious words. She looked down at her Aunt‘s tree and took in the item sitting under it, still very much tightly wrapped in its plastic sheath and observed, “Oooo... that would make a good regift!”

Regift? Regift! REGIFT?!?!

Regifting is the act of taking a gift that has been received and giving it to somebody else in the guise of a new gift.

Finally, it was out in the open!

The fine art of regifting
Like Post (who is the granddaughter-in-law of etiquette czarina Emily), I have no qualms about regifting when done properly. Carried out carelessly, regifting is a recipe for public humiliation and long-held grudges. Done with finesse and tact, regifting can be a happy holiday experience for all — providing you follow these few do’s and don’ts. Starting with: DO take out the previous gift card. Duh.

So, this year I got a bunch of things I will probably regift, which is okay because it takes some pressure off me in other ways to go out and shop. I don’t know why but I got a bunch of food this year, big honking things with cheeses and dried sausage.

Truthfully though, it’s stuff I won’t eat so, it’s not like I can feel guilty about it. I never had a taste for the cured sausage thing and as time goes on I’m getting a lot more particular about what I put into my body. I have to be, high blood pressure and a lot of this really fatty, high nitrate stuff is a big time no-no for me. So, they’ll wind up being regifted. I’m ashamed to admit it because I know if it was coffee or chocolate I’d be greedily scarfing the stuff down - nothing like caffeine and sugar... yum, yum!

Call it tacky or call it rude, but the real name for this practice is regifting. Here are 5 tips in case you’re stuck with a recyclable gift this year...

It’s not any better for me than the fatty stuff or the sausage but since I pretty much stopped drinking and don’t smoke at all I figure I have to allow myself some guilty pleasures so, caffeine and sugar are it.

Hearing regifting mentioned openly made me feel less bad about regifting...

Before the holidays hit, let’s face facts: If one of the season’s joys is giving, then surely one of its hidden pleasures is “regifting.” Say you receive a gift — a nice gift, like a handsome travel clock — that you can’t use, don’t want or already own. You rewrap it and give it to someone else. You look generous. The recipient is appreciative. And your storage closet just got bigger. Mission accomplished.

Apparently it’s nothing new anyway and looking around I was able to find a bunch of interesting articles on the topic. I just can’t figure out why I get stuff like this (besides the fact I figure I am way too fat anyway and need to lose weight). Years ago (almost two decades now) when I was younger and didn’t know how to shop for people I was guilty of the ‘sausage’ gift pack – maybe it’s payback for those years I bought it for people.

I so much want to make it simpler for people anyway - a Starbucks card would be more than welcome.

Outside of the prospect of regifting though, I have to admit to being very happy and fortunate to be able to spend time with family. The more time passes, the more I appreciate those people who are family. The more I like them.

Just no more food, please. At least nothing though the mail.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

You know, I was just thinking about that Beatle test I took earlier in the week when it occured to me, does anyone want to be a Ringo?

I mean, I like Ringo and I also even have Blast From Your Past lying around here but, is Ringo the Beatle people aspire to be?

Thing is, he has always been the funniest, most low key guy of the group. He’s been in movies, tv and has had a bunch of hits. He’s traveled in some very interesting circles - if you look at the makeup of some his All-Starr bands you’ll see.

This musing on the man caused me to go to Ringo’s official site where he has a bunch of pretty cool videos (pretty cool? I imagine I’m dating myself). Ringo can still belt ’em out. Maybe aspiring to be a Ringo isn’t such a bad thing after all because through it all Ringo is the one who has managed to enjoy the ride the most it seems.

Not to be missed!



Jonathan Winters presents a distinctive reading of “A Christmas Carol,” using a special performing edition prepared by Dickens for his own presentations. Winters recreates Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim, Jacob Marley’s spirit and the three Christmas ghosts: Past, Present and Future.

If you aren’t in WNYC’s broadcast area, you can still listen to live audio feed via iTunes or Windows Media Player.

I continue to be amazed.

You know I’m not crazy about our current president and I think we could do a lot better but (and this is a big one), every time I see some ass blaming Bush for the attacks on September 11th and using it as an example of his ineptitude it just turns my stomach.

Fact - Bush was sworn in on January 20, 2001 - the attack was on September 11th 2001. Any fool who runs around believing the diabolical plot came together in just under 8 months and it is the entire fault of GW Bush is really kidding themselves.

According to official U.S. government sources, the September 11th attacks were consistent with the mission statement of al-Qaeda. The overarching motivation for the present al-Qaeda campaign was set out in a 1998 fatwa issued by Osama bin Laden, Ayman al-Zawahiri, Abu-Yasir Rifa’i Ahmad Taha, Shaykh Mir Hamzah, and Fazlur Rahman (Amir of the Jihad Movement in Bangladesh, Fazlur Rahman).

MMmmmm? 1998? Mmmmm? Who was in office then?

2000
In March 2000, while still in Germany, Atta contacted 31 different U.S. flight schools to discuss training to fly planes.
Atta traveled to Prague, stayed overnight, and then entered the U.S. on June 3. Atta and other hijackers who had arrived earlier opened bank accounts and continued to check on flight schools.
In July, Atta and Marwan al-Shehhi enrolled at Huffman Aviation in Venice, Florida. Atta claimed to be of royal Saudi descent and presented al-Shehhi as his bodyguard.
Both earned their instrument certificates from the FAA in November. On November 5th, Atta purchased flight deck videos for Boeing 747-200 and Boeing 757-200 models from Sporty’s Pilot Shop in Batavia, Ohio.
On December 11th, Atta purchased additional flight deck videos for Airbus A320 and Boeing 767-300ER models from the same store in Ohio. On December 21st, both Atta and Marwan were granted their pilot licenses. On the 26th or 27th, Atta and Marwan abandoned a Piper Cherokee that had stalled on the runway of Miami International Airport. On the 29th, Atta and Marwan went to the Opa-Locka Airport and practiced on a Boeing 727 simulator.

MMmmmm? 2000? Mmmmm? Who was in office then?

Point I’m trying to make is that there is plenty of blame to go around for what happened that day. Blame Bush for all the stupid policy decisions he has made in the years since September 11th, sure but, stop trying to hang the albatross of the attacks solely around the guy’s neck. Bill Clinton had 8 years to bring Osama Bin Laden to ground and didn’t or couldn’t do it. Even then, it wouldn’t have been a guarantee of the attacks never happening.

Just stop it. If you hate the guy because he’s a Republican, that’s your prerogative but, don’t make those attacks about partisan politics because that wasn’t what they were about. It’s disingenuous and disrespectful so just stop it.

Yes, I know it’s stupid...

...but when I saw the thing I couldn’t resist.

You scored 75 John, 28 George, 19 Ringo, and 35 Paul!

The Beatle with the highest score is where you rank! For example, if you have 50 John, 5 Paul, 10 George, and 29 Ringo, you’re most like John!

The test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 92% on John You scored higher than 14% on George You scored higher than 50% on Ringo You scored higher than 14% on Paul

Link: The Which Beatle are You Test

Looking at things with fresh eyes.


This weekend I had the opportunity to act as tour guide for a duo of visitors. I’ve lived in and around New York City for my entire life so, I am quite familiar with it. Problem with something like that is, like anything spectacular or wonderful, if you are around it every day or for a long period of time, you get a bit jaded and begin to take it for granted.

Tourists are a normal part of life in New York City, everyday New Yorkers do their level best to put up with them. We dodge them as they gawk at the sites, we give them directions when they’re lost and if they need some kind of help New Yorkers are actually a lot more big hearted than the clichéd image of New Yorkers and will rise to the occasion of a traveler in need.

We co-exist with tourists somewhat grudgingly though, as they are to us just another obstacle as we go about the running and dodging which is a part of the frenetic pace of life in and around the Big Apple. I love the city but, over the years, my view of it has changed. The city affords us all a wealth of excitement, opportunity and entertainment but, you have to seek it out and it can get very expensive very quickly. Broadway shows can cost as much as $100 per ticket and even though there are ways around that, when you are trying to pay your rent and all the other bills associated with living in the area, something like a Broadway ticket can be viewed as an onerous expense. So, the proximity a person has to one of the world’s most notable theater districts doesn’t necessarily infer one will be able to take advantage of it.

This weekend I was forced to look in and around the city for things to take guests to do, all the things I usually don’t do myself but, if I were a visitor these would be the things I would want to tell people I visited New York and did. I put together a bit of an itinerary and let the chips fall where they would. Surprisingly, I wound up enjoying the weekend as much if not more than my guests. It’s just a reminder of how my view of things can affect my enjoyment of them and how important the lesson is to keep in the forefront of my mind.

My Rodney Dangerfield moment.

My mind was wandering today as I was doing my chores and I thought of this joke Rodney Dangerfield might use if he were still around:

...yeah, I don’t get no respect!

I rented a car with a computer that gives you directions and the car told me to get lost!

No respect!

I am still trying to figure this one out.

So, admittedly I am a registered Republican, although I have never voted for either Bush. I don’t vote along party lines anyway and the only time I find myself getting drawn into the partisan web is when I am confronted by some idiot who wants to make blanket statements about either party (you know the ones that go, those -fill in the party- are all...).

I haven’t been too happy with the course our country has taken over the last bunch of years. The guy in office spends like a drunken sailor on leave (too concerned about spending all his money and then some), his priorities are totally askew (see response to the Terry Shiavo thing versus response to Katrina) and in general he has made a poor go of it. Still he amazingly won reelection somehow but, was it more a matter of people voting for him as much as it was people not being happy with the other guy?

So, there are a bunch of people already jockeying for position to run in ’08 knowing there won’t be an incumbent of any kind to face. I took a quick look over at this site which has the info from all the polls on potential democratic candidates. The thing I find amazing... no remarkable, is the one person I think could win isn’t considered a serious candidate at this point!

That person has been an elegant, vocal opponent of the current administration over the past two terms. The person’s stature has only managed to grow in the ensuing years. It is a person who gave a speech including these jewels:

But whether you agree with that conclusion or not, whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican — or an Independent, a Libertarian, a Green or a Mugwump — you’ve got a big stake in making sure that Representative Democracy works the way it is supposed to. And today, it just isn’t working very well. We all need to figure out how to fix it because we simply cannot keep on making such bad decisions on the basis of false impressions and mistaken assumptions.

Earlier, I mentioned the feeling many have that something basic has gone wrong. Whatever it is, I think it has a lot to do with the way we seek the truth and try in good faith to use facts as the basis for debates about our future — allowing for the unavoidable tendency we all have to get swept up in our enthusiasms.

That last point is worth highlighting. Robust debate in a democracy will almost always involve occasional rhetorical excesses and leaps of faith, and we're all used to that. I’ve even been guilty of it myself on occasion. But there is a big difference between that and a systematic effort to manipulate facts in service to a totalistic ideology that is felt to be more important than the mandates of basic honesty.

This past week I managed to catch this movie and it only confirmed what I previously thought, this person should be considered as the lead candidate for ’08.

How a party can ignore a person who won the popular vote, has proven to be an intelligent and thoughtful speaker, shows dedication and commitment that transcends political party or interest is just astounding! Alright, if you clicked through on some of the links, you know I’m talking about Al Gore. Gore is untarnished by any association to the legacy of the Clinton years (in a way Hillary is not). He’s the kind of candidate who could seriously garner enough crossover votes to take the White House. Hell, the guy won once already! (I know some out there are going to go apoplectic over that one) So, why isn’t there some serious discussion about drafting him as candidate? I still don’t understand why he didn’t run in ’04 because I would’ve voted for him then.

Anyone care to explain that one?

The most wonderful performance.

A fellow from across the pond posted in the comments section and I meandered over and looked at his blog which I fonud incredible fun and intend to link to it in the blogroll (when I get around to setting the thing up). I can link to it here the name of his blog is YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD.

Later on in the day as I was running errands, in the car and listening to the radio, the cosmic synchronicity presented itself yet again and I got to hear this story on PRI’s The World:

“We always lose to Sweden in hockey and the Eurovision Song contest” they sing. They continue, “why does no-one agree with me and why does Tram number 3 smell of pee?”

Then I got a chance to watch the following short film later on and I defy you not to laugh, I know it had me chortling with glee:

SciFi hits another homerun.

I don’t know how they do it but, SciFi keeps managing to put on some great material (see Battlerstar Galactica, Eureka and the American broadcast of Doctor Who). Last night was the first episode of The Lost Room and did it ever smoke, they are rerunning the first episode at 7 tonight. I have to say, it didn’t disappoint.

Absolutely worth it.

I spend money on myself in a few ways - food/bills and the like (normal), if it’s something I need (clothing) but, every once in awhile if I see something I really want I’ll just get it. It’s not like I’ll make it into a big deal and I’m not so crazy, wasteful in my spending anyway.

So, this came today and I just took a cursory glance but, boy was it ever worth it! The thing has the heft of one of those old encyclopedia’s and the work looks just gorgeous on the glossy stock. Needless to say, I am currently in the ecstatic Gollum like mode (my precious!)

Is it possible to rely on Iran to help bring calm in Iraq?

Manouchehr Mohammadi, Iran’s deputy foreign minister for research, told Iran’s state-run news agency, IRNA, that Tehran’s leaders would accept that the Holocaust occurred if scholars attending the conference could prove that the Nazi regime exterminated 6 million Jews during World War II.

But Mohammadi said Iran does not deny the murders and damages caused by Hitler’s genocide, nor that 50 million people were the victims of his racism, according to IRNA...

...Mohammadi said if Iran accepts the validity of the Holocaust, the next question examined will be, “Why should the Palestinians pay for the Holocaust?”

As I was reading this today, I had to wonder what the reaction would be if Israel held a conference denying the existence of the Palestinians as a true ethnic group and in the process denying their validity of any claim to land within the confines of Judea.

Odd things which make me happy.

I got a new printer this past week (came yesterday actually). This makes me incredibly happy, how very strange.

When I first starting using a computer (many, many years ago), I had this zeal for the thing. I had to know all the little bells and whistles, all the little ins and outs of the computer and the operating system. The passion was very helpful in advancing my career without question but, like all great passions in life it burned hot for awhile but, couldn’t maintain the bright blaze I felt at its origins.

Now the computer sits on my desk, a squat gobbler of time and while I still enjoy being on the computer, I have come to approach it with a certain amount of trepidation as it has proven at times to be the same kind of idle distraction television can be. When I am writing or working out projects, it’s great to have a tool like the computer there but, if I am using it to avoid getting the things I need to get done to move forward in life, it becomes an enemy.

So, this week I got a new printer and am very happy for it.

It is the first time I have purchased a black and white printer since I got my old Apple Laserwriter IIf. I milk hardware, I use it as long as I possibly can in an effort to try and wring every last bit of usefulness out of it. Long ago, I stopped being seduced by the lure of the latest and the greatest and I managed to keep the Laserwriter going for a long, long time. I got a new board at one point on eBay for a song (so the thing became a IIg), I went out and got additional memory for the thing and installed it myself, I even had an external hard drive attached to the thing for awhile. Somewhere along the line though, the fuser went and even though I managed to pick up another one on eBay, even though I started the job of installing it, I never did finish it and the printer has sat around for quite a bit of time in pieces (the computer equivalent of a car up on blocks in front of a person’s house).

I’ve had other printers. Old equipment clients no longer had a use for, taken home and cannibalized. One huge monster of a printer just sat around for the longest time before it fell and broke. I never hooked the thing up and it just seemed to be too much to get the it fixed (although I did explore the option), another I used happily for awhile before selling it to a client who lacked an 11 X 17 printer.

There are a couple of inkjets around here as well but, I don’t really like inkjets all that much. They’re great for the occasional color piece you have to print and the color is wonderful but, if you’re printing anything long you can grow a beard waiting for the whole thing to print. So, I needed a new laser printer and had been putting off investing in one for three years at least.

Last week I took the plunge and Saturday the thing came and in a hour I had it hooked up, on the network and running. I am soooo happy! Really! I can run envelopes through the thing, and it prints large and I splurged and got the one with a few paper trays so I don’t even have to be involved removing paper. After everything is said and done too the oddest thing about the whole experience is the new printer, a printer that prints 11 x 17, letter and a whole bunch of other sizes - a printer with a good deal of memory (although I am already thinking of getting a couple of more chips and putting them in with a hard drive too) - a real workhorse of an animal turns out to have cost me about $300 less than what I paid for my old Laserwriter which I picked up over a decade ago. Even though it was a much beloved piece of equipment, it had a tenth of the memory, a serial connection and the largest size it could print was legal (8.5 x 14). $300 less, imagine that!

If only they applied the same kind of price logic to the other things in life, I’d be living it up right now! Then again, you’ve got to take these things as they come so, I’ll just go off and enjoy my printer now thank you and count my blessings.

I see a trailer park in your future...

Also of note this past couple of days was the email I got from someone who shared with me the rather graphic photos of Brtiney Spears.

Personally, I’ve never been much of a fan of Britney’s. She operates on some other world as far as I’m concerned (same planet Madonna is on). Sure I can’t help but know who she is and can’t help but see when her picture is in the paper or on TV, there is no avoiding it but, as far as the daily goings on in her life... feh.

The other thing I’ve never really quite understood was the whole fascination with her looks. I never thought she was a very good looking women or at least I didn’t find her attractive - something about her face just struck me as odd, I can’t quite put a finger on exactly what it was, maybe her chin or something but, it just didn’t do anything for me on that level.

Same thing with Paris Hilton, it’s like... huh?

Her face kind of reminds me of a dogs. I’m not trying to be nasty even though it’s probably sounding that way but the proportions and relationships between the girls’ eyes, nose, chin and mouth somehow makes me thing of a Saluki or some other kind of hound.

Anyway, there was the front page of the paper last week that had me laughing:


Then, just a day or two later I get pictures emailed to me of Bitney getting out of a car without any underpants.

At first, I honestly thought it was somebody’s idea of a joke, some quick kind of Photoshop doctoring someone had put together, something done by a guy with way too much time on his hands. Imagine my surprise when I found out the photos were the real thing! My first response to the photos had been, “Ewwwwww!” followed by thinking what a crappy job of retouching. Then, when I realized it hadn’t been retouching, well suffice to say that was an even bigger ‘Ewwwww!’ moment.

On people’s passing.

Over the last few weeks while I’ve been otherwise occupied some notable people have departed our mortal coil. In each instance I was inclined to write something to note the person’s passing but, stopped myself. Even the note about Ed Bradley a few weeks back was a slip of sorts.

It’s not that these people won’t be missed or don’t leave behind them something important in the way they affected the world around them. It’s not even so much a superstitious avoidance of the subject of death either. No, I actually saw a few people pass during the last year and so death has certainly reminded me of it’s powerful and inescapable grip.

Rather, I don’t want to spend time focusing on death itself. People die each and every day around us all - if I was so inclined I could probably just have the blog equivalent of an obit column and that isn’t what I want. The other thing is as I find myself at the middle portion of my journey (I hope) through the world, rather than fall into the trap which many do as they age, namely that of spending an inordinate amount of time looking back, glorifying the past, painting it in softer and rosy hues instead of embracing the future with a full heart full of eagerness and hope.

There is no such thing as the ‘Good Old Days.’ Those days are just days filtered through the barriers of memory with all the nasty bumps and scrapes edited out. The best days lie ahead of us and I want to believe they will be even better if we approach them with a hopeful outlook that is both positive and optimistic.

The great thing about the internet.

Is being able to read things sometimes so detached from themselves, you wind up having a physical reaction to them, they actually stir such a deep feeling within you. I read something the other week so dysfunctional, so out there but, it was a treatise masquerading under the guise of something else.

It comes from the same place all the religous fanatics who were their religion on their lapel and trot around with the sense of moral superiority, the place from where an oppressed minority can scream about never falling prey to bigoted behavior because of their experience and yet still embrace all the prejudices others can succumb to.

The particular passage has nothing to do with either of those topics but it resonates within me by echoing those same ironies mentioned above.

It moved me to look up a new word: Misandrist.

Maybe, I’m getting wiser though because rather than allow myself to become enmeshed in another’s stupidity, I’ve got my own things to deal with. I have to admit however to continually being amazed by the level of people’s self denial.

If you didn’t get the note...

It probably means I haven’t loaded your email address into the address book on Fat Man (I’m thinking of renaming the laptop Little Boy). I want to wish all my fellow countrymen a very Happy Thanksgiving! I’m looking forward to a wonderful meal, lots of catching up with family and then hiding while everyone goes into a frenzy the day after shopping until they drop!

Enjoy your holiday!

Best news of the day

Well, I guess this means we’ll never know... (cough, cough, bulls**t!)

After a firestorm of criticism, News. Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and TV special “If I Did It.”

“I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project,” said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. “We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.”

Makes you wonder after all this time if he wouldn’t have been better off confessing. Yeah, he won, he stayed out of jail but, he wasn’t and probably never will be forgiven. Interesting twist in a way as the crime will haunt him for the rest of his days. Thankfully and amazingly FOX has shown there are depths even they won’t sink to.

If he did it?

They’ll be a lot of press over the coming days about the OJ book. I’m avoiding the book and the press - actually I’m a little annoyed. The whole thing isn’t newsworthy, the press should boycott it but, I guess that wouldn’t happen. The disingenuous title is jut the start of the audacity of this latest escapade. If he did it?

Well, if he did it, here’s what he left behind:


Now, I ask you - if it was your wife (ex or no) murdered in such a violent manner and you had suffered through the indignity of being tried for her murder even though you were completely innocent would you go on to write a book about the ways you might have carried out the crime? Well, I think we all know the answer to that one. Funny how he isn’t coming out and saying he’s doing it so he can continue to fund the search for his wife’s killer(s). If I remember correctly before the trial, OJ had set up a fund to find the murdered of the mother of his children. Seems like that pretty much went away after his trial concluded - funny how that worked. Yeah, I know he can’t be tried again for the murders but, you’d think they would get a bit creative and take the damnable book, go digging around and see if they could get him for something obscure like violating the victims’ civil rights - just spit-balling here.

I was looking at the sales by rankings on Amazon and the book came up which is what had me thinking about it. The thing I was interested in though was in the tags people had given the book - take a look for yourself:

boycott / shameful / disgusting / murderer / pathetic / repulsive / scum / guilty / sick / evil / liar / controversial / sociopath / boycott regan books / delusions of grandeur / domestic violence / horrible / killer / narcissistic personality disorder / revolting / tasteless / wife killer / a good guide / a new low for a revolting bottom feeder… / acquitted / amazing / amazon / amazon dont sell this / amazon should be ashamed / amazon should be embarrassed / amazon shouldnt sell / amazon shouldnt sell this book / america killer / anything for money / authors who ought to be in prison / be better than this - boycott this book / bezos will do anything for a buck-can yo… / blood money / blood stained pages / bloodstained trash / boycott book and tv show / boycott harpercollins / boycott it / butcher / cant be happier for him / chutzpah / confess / confession / contemptible / criminal / criminal psychopath / curious / depressing / despicable / dirtbag / discusting / disgrace / disgraceful / disgusting trash / disrespectful / disturbing / double jeopardy / earned his money the hard way / egregious / enterprising murderer / entrepreneurial / exhibitionism / exploitative / f ked up / fallen hero / fantastic / football legend / for shame / foul / free citizen / free speech / ginsu knife / go away oj / good coverup / goodby / gross miscarriage of justice / gutsy / hang him / harper collins / he did it / hilarious / how can amazon sell this / i am the only white person in america wh… / i did it by oj / i got away with murder / i love me some oj / i will stop shopping at amazon / immune from justice / inappropriate / incompetent prosecution / incredible / innocent / innovative / irony / jarodpranno / jaw-dropping / killers shouldnt profit / legal genius / low life / lowest from of life / make money / makes mockery of law / matricia berg / memoir / merde / murderers cant profit from their crimes / narcissist / next time kill kfed / ngger / no conscience / no one was paying attention to him / obscene / outrage / pig / poor children / poor taste / problems of the world / profiting from murder / regan books / remember nicole was almost decapitated / replusive / revolting stain of humanity / rifftrax / right to leave his kids an inheritance / rip nicole simpson / rip ronald goldman / rock bottom / sad / score / scum bucket / shame on amazon / shame on bezos / shameless / shameless father / simpson / simpson insect / sleaze / sleazebag / sleeze / slime shameful pathetic boycott / slimeball / somebody shoot him / subhuman garbage / tasteless-whos got the knife / thought process disorder / totally guilty / trash / true confession / unbelievable / vile / vile and revolting / vomit-inducing / what about the victims / what laws would amazon be breaking if th… / why do you think we care / why not sell porn too / wife beater / will oj sell knives next / work of art / worst seller hopefully / wwwdontpayojcom / wwwmyspacecomvi ncepalamara

Cum Cum Disease and you.

I have trouble even believing this. I laughed out loud when I read it then, I thought most guys would welcome such a malady and after that I thought I wanted to find such a women and help her with her illness.

Growing numbers of Japanese women are afflicted with an illness that gives them orgasms virtually 24 hours a day. And with suggestions that it could be deadly, the women hardly know whether they're coming or going, according to Shukan Post (11/24).

“If a guy simply taps me on the shoulder, I just swoon. Even when I go to the toilet, my body reacts. I’m a little bit scared of myself,” one woman sufferer tells Shukan Post.

The way the city should feel.


Like it does in all those old movies.

Just when you think you know all there is to know about something!

It had been prearranged for this session to be filmed by NEMS Enterprises for use in a planned television special. However, the film was never released in its entirety, although portions of it can be seen in the “A Day In The Life” promotional film, including shots of studio guests like Mick Jagger, Marianne Faithfull, Keith Richards, Donovan, Pattie Boyd and Michael Nesmith.

Today, as has been the practice over the last few weeks I had iTunes running and I decided to listen to Sgt. Peppers straight through. It’s still an amazing listen even after all this time, it stands up as one of the most spectacular albums of the last century. At the end is A Day in the Life, a song which I’ve loved for a long time now. When the Beatles released Sgt Peppers, I was just a kid so I can’t say it had much of an impact but, certainly it received lots of airplay over the next decade. A Day in the Life is unique because it did something a lot of rock music hadn’t done up to that point and it did it on such a grand scale.



Now the thing is with the internet youcan find all sorts of interesting things, things you’ve never seen perhaps or find out things you didn’t know and such is the case with A Day in the Life:

Musings on the English language.

If a person is either in the Artic or Antartica and they are stricken with a swollen vein in their butt - would you call the offending vein a polaroid?



You know instead of hemorrhoid.

Gives new meaning to the phrase, “Why don’t you take a picture?! It’ll last longer!”

Basking in the afterglow.

So, we’ve just passed through the glory of another election season which fortunately means an end to all sorts of nasty ads the American electorate is deluged with every time an election rolls around. Little did I know that there are several different levels of attack ad: heavy, middle and light. If you missed this recent episode of All Things Considered, you missed out on an interesting interview with some of the voices you may be surprisingly familiar with as Melissa Block spoke with two men who are known for their voice work on political campaign ads. Makes for interesting listening.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. He said he could put himself together again! But, after wasting thousands of our tax dollars... all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. He failed us! Humpty Dumpty, wrong on wall sitting!